The Outside: You pull the strings – A puppet’s existence

Don't watch. Don't speak. Don't do anything. Don't fight. Just smile and stay quiet. Disappeared into nothingness. For almost 21 months. It has changed a lot. Not that it's stopped. Just that I've lost myself. 21 months just me and my head. Initially numb, paralysed. Unable to do anything. Just afraid of taking the next wrong step. Although I had never regretted anything before. Now I only had one question in my head: why? So I started digging in my self-chosen cell. Deep back. Paper after paper soaked with pieces of myself. Put together, torn apart. Over and over again. Thousands of pieces of paper formed a picture. Fragments from 50 years that paint a life. And yet still leave many questions unanswered. I only know one thing. As long as I don't change anything, nothing will change. It is time.